We Can Find Satisfaction, Even when our Questions Go Unanswered

Have you ever had a question that you longed to answer, searched for the answer, but never found one? I have these questions all the time. Sometimes, the answer eventually comes in revelation; maybe in the car during rush hour traffic, or when I'm begrudgingly pulling weeds. Other times, it doesn't come at all. Those are the hard questions. They are usually the "why" questions. My comfort comes in knowing that God knows the answer. He knows if and when I need to know it as well. I now find peace in trusting that He will reveal all things in His time. Ironically, it is because of these unanswered questions, and the faith that He has it under control, that raises my feelings of peace and comfort! It seems so strange, but it is true. When I surrender myself to Him, with all that I am and have, I can breath deep and rest assured that when the time is right, He will come through; and He does...without fail. He is faithful. His grace is enough. Sometimes we get distracted by the need to be able to answer all of our questions. Sometimes, we create the answers we seek out of our desire for peace and understanding. That is when the real trouble starts. This is when we alienate others by adding to what the Bible tells us, or doesn't tell us. The truth is that we can't add anything of value to His Word. The value comes when we can wait on Him, trust in His timing, and know with everything we have that He has got it all under control. The questions may never stop coming up, but we don't have to let them uproot our contentment in Him. Take comfort in knowing that we can truly "Be still and know that (he) is God."

Gratitude as a Blessing

I recently read the words, "Our gratitude is a blessing to the Lord and is rooted in deep faith and love." Wow. He has blessed me in so many ways; in life, my family, my friends, in the kindness of strangers, and in the beauty of His creations. When I thank Him and feel genuine gratitude in my heart, it goes beyond simple thankfulness. It becomes something deeper, like a bonding between His heart and mine. It becomes a chance for me to curl up in His lap and say, "Thank you Daddy. I love my present," and then lay my head on His shoulder and revel in His love for me.

He Has Always Been There

Recently, I was asked to make a list of some of the most painful experiences in my life and then look for God's hand in those experiences. Fortunately, my list was fairly short, but interesting. I wrote down things like losing my grandma, family illness, and moving so far away from my lifelong home in Idaho. All circumstances of various levels and kinds of pain. Nevertheless, He has always been there, and not in the shadows just hanging out until all was well, but in the thick of it with me. He has redeemed each experience and used them to bring me closer to those I love, including Himself. I can't say that I always knew He was there when I was in the midst of chaos, especially in my youth. But how loved I feel now when I can look back and know, even see the evidence, that He was always with me. I plan to remember that during the next storm. It is easy to feel peace when it is quiet and peaceful...it is only through the Lord that we can feel genuine peace when the thunder sounds and we feel exposed, like we're the tallest thing in an open field. Our circumstances may not be changed, but when we are changed, when we chose to see Him through the rain, our whole experience of what is happening is also changed, and we will always find redemption.

A Clear Vision

Sometimes I feel like I am walking around with my glasses on top of my head, only putting them on when I know for sure something beautiful is happening in front of me and I want to see it clearly. My daily walk with God is often like this. During a powerful worship service, among prophecies that are being given, when I am at a great women's retreat, or sometimes when I write, whenever I expect Him to be moving mightily, I feel his glory and presence; like I can reach out my hand and touch His cheek or curl up in His lap and just revel in His love. The thing that I often forget is that His presence is always powerful and glorious; it's my perspective that changes. He is still there when I am making 150 photocopies of a test. He is there later that same week when I am grading my 150th test. He is even there during the meeting that seems to never end. If I just put myself in that place of openness to His presence, I will feel Him during the mundane times as well as the spiritually amazing times. I just need to wear my glasses no matter where I go, that way I can see beauty even when I least expect it.

"Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14)

When I read these words, I am always amazed at their all inclusive truth. That in our daily lives, we can come face to face with an Esther moment, whether we recognize it or not. To me this verse says it all. The power we are given in our lives, the places that we live, the people that we know...they are all His. He has given them to us. Our very lives are from Him. When Esther is asked to risk her life by coming to the king in an attempt to save the Jews from being murdered, she initially is scared and she hesitates. But then, she does something strong and beautiful. She trusts in the Lord. She stands up and takes on the challenge. At first glance, Esther can seem like a pawn between the "men in charge," but in reality, she is an Ezer, someone who is offered to help in a great time of need. She is placed there by God to be used to save His people. She didn't choose this path for herself, God gave it to her; and while it didn't look like an honor at first, in the end, it certainly was. I try to remember this when I am put into circumstances that I don't exactly choose, or when I am faced with a challenge that feels too big for little me. "Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this." Wow...

Faithfulness is More Than an Ideal

When the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, I am sure that among them was a girl with a checkered past, a strong and stubborn mind, and a sometimes fearful and untrusting heart; a girl exactly like me. And yet, she wasn't a coincidence, a stowaway, or an extra. She was wonderfully made by Him. He was just as faithful to her as He was to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, after all, they all crossed that river together. Because He is unchanging, He is the same God today as he was back then and His faithfulness to me is the same as it was to that girl long ago. I can stand strong in His faithfulness, confident in knowing that He knew exactly what He was doing back then, and He knows exactly what He is doing now. I can trust Him in every aspect of my life.